My Marine

I told myself many years ago that I would never marry a man in the military because I thought life would be too hard and I didn't like the idea of constently being away from the man I loved enough to marry for eternity. Little did I know that our Heavenly Father had a military man in store for me all those years ago.....

In 2001 when the terrorist struck the twin towers my now husband was off serving in the Marines. He found himself and his commrades in Okinawa, Japan that fateful day and once they heard about US Territory being attacked they were on fire and ready to "kick some butt" per se.

I was 15 at the time and I can pretty much guarantee that I was not thinking about marriage or boys. I was shy and pretty much kept to myself, my family and close friends. So the last thing on my mind was worrying about "my man" getting ready to go and fight a war. And to be honest with you I believe that I was a bit naive in what all was going on in the world....I considered my world to be very small and simple, that was until I stepped into college and realized that I was wrong. The world was a big and often scary place to be in by yourself. I was extremely grateful for the chance I had to go to college. My husband did not get that chance since he chose to go the military route a few years after high school. Anyway, getting off my little tangent now.....

I am very grateful for his service in protecting our country and giving me the oppourtunity to exercise my freedoms. Some people may consider him damaged goods from everything that he went thru in the military, but I believe otherwise. I believe that his experiences have made him a stronger individual, a leader and an amazing person.

I am even more grateful that he came back alive so I could meet him and marry him for time and all eternity. And by the end of the year we will be blessed with our first child, a little baby boy who I think (from the ultrsound pics) looks just like him. Which I am totally fine with :)

I feel bad for him on days like today, Veteran's Day, as well as all the other holidays we have to honor our military....he lost many of his commrades while serving in Iraq. For I know how much he misses them, but I believe it is safe to say that they are all in a better place, safe from wars and the need to fight off the evils of this world.

Thank you to All the Military Service Men and Women, the Veterans past, present and future!

36 down, 4 more to go!

We've hit week 36, only 4 more weeks to go til this little guy comes into the world. Lets keep praying he keeps growing and remaining health and strong.....and it wouldn't hurt to throw in a few for my ribs that he seems to get a kick out of kicking :)

Had our doctors appointment yesterday and all's good. Brysen's heartbeat was reading good and strong in the 130's....and so was my weight although you couldn't tell by looking at me. I keep telling them all the weight gain lately has got to be all him, cause there is no way the weight is packing on me anywhere. Its been hard for me seeing the scale keep going up and up every time they weight me in. I am so use to the scale barely reaching over 95-100. I have been in that weight range since I was like 15 and haven't change much since then. I guess the good thing is that I haven't really tried to gain weight with this pregnancy, and thankfully they haven't haggled me over the need to gain weight. They have been satisfied every single time as long as I had gained something since the previous appointment.

I am defiantly not use to weight more than my tiny little 100 and as weird as it sounds I can feel the strain on my body. I can tell its having to work a whole lot harder to do some of the normal every day things. I have definately had to check myself a few times when I've started to over-exhert myself, as hard as it may seem to forget, but some days I forget that I am pregnant and try to go thru my normal routine and find myself extremely exhausted at the end of the day and not being able to complete tasks....drives me nuts sometimes. Its been hard for me to accept help, let alone ask for it to begin with. I've found out that I am extremely independent, which I am sure my parents figured that one out years ago :) I guess I never realized it til now, that I need to ask for help when I need it and stop trying to do everything myself...like my younger sister use to say when she was little "I do it myself!"....trying to get rid of that mindset/attitude.

We've been very blessed and consider ourselves extremely so that we have had no complications at all with this first pregnancy. Daily counting our blessing and thanking the Lord for this little boy that he is giving us to raise. We are starting to grow more and more excited as we feel like we are finally getting somethings together and getting stuff done around the house to prepare for Brysen. His nursery is, for the most part, ready. Ryan was able to finish getting all the trim painted white last week, which really helps the looks of the room (sorry still haven't taken a picture yet) Finally getting things in order, yay! And so excited for my baby shower on Saturday that my mom and sisters are throwing for us....mainly excited to see people I don't get a chance to see very often anymore, so yay for reasons to get family and friends together!

Pregnancy Update (this might be a long one)

For starters here is one of the recent pictures of my progress... (32 weeks on the 12th)

We had our 2nd ultrasound last week (Wednesday, Oct 19), mainly to do a follow-up on Brysen's organs to make sure everything developed the way its suppose to. He again put on quiet the show for the lady doing the ultrasound, to the point where he made it hard for her to get the images that our Doctor requested (mainly his heart). He again made it very clear that he was a little boy and not afraid to show himself off. Im hoping this doesn't mean that we will have a streaker on our hands in the future. But if nothing else he is a very energetic little boy right now....well becoming not so little because whatever weight I am gaining latley is sure not showing on me, so its got to be him.

I was fighting a cold last week when this ^ one was taken, I felt very icky and it probably shows.

Last Friday (Oct 21) my work threw me a little suprise baby shower in-leu of our regular office luncheon. I didn't suspect a thing.

Everyone seemed very helpful that day in just trying to keep me from doing much of anything. Which is becoming normal because things are getting harder for me to do, but I still thought it a little out of the ordinary. Anyway, it was a nice little suprise that I definately was not expecting and everyone got us something that we needed for the baby. Granted a couple of them had access to my baby registry due to getting one put together for the baby shower that my mother is throwing for us here in about 2 weeks. If you are wondering why we are having it so late (I'll be pushing 36-37 weeks) its because we had to keep moving it around due to conflicts with church activities, etc. Any who, I thought it was really nice gesture from everyone at work and despite the fact that I am not use to being the center of attention (that and I don't like to be, I get really uncomfortable)...it was nice to be pampered for once. So thanks guys and gals :)

Tuesday we had our "every 2 weeks" doctor's appointment, which technically it had been 3 weeks since we had last been in because we had to reschedule last weeks due to our Dr was in the middle of delivering babies that evening...blah,blah,blah....anyway I had only gained 3 pounds since the last dr appointment and like I said before, that weight has got to be all baby cause its not me. But they were not too concerned with that, they mainly just don't want to see me losing any weight.

Brysen is head-down already and has been for at least the past week. He was that way I had the ultrasound back on the 19th. He hasn't dropped yet, so thankfully he is not ready to come yet. Course I don't know that he will because I feel like he is already taking up every inch of space inside me. I feel like I have become a human punching bag. I now feel every little move, swish, kick, punch, hiccup, etc. And he moves around a lot right now and has for several weeks. My ribs and back are really starting to feel the strain that my body is going through right now, thankfully I am feel pretty good most days and am still able to work full time.

Ryan and I both still feel like we have a lot to do and get accomplished before Brysen gets here. We have yet to finish painting the trim white in the baby's room,it was this yucky pinkish-brown tone that I don't know who in their right mind would like to begin with and it just didn't look right. So far what we have painted has really brightened up the room in addition to the natural light of the windows that is, which I have yet to find curtains for...ugh I'm about to go out and find some bed sheets in the color I want and make-shift some curtains....lol :)

But yeah, as you can tell the room is dark, there is no lighting in it besides the windows, so we are on the hunt for a floor lamp to put in their for light in the winter, considering we are going to probably put heavy curtains or whatever I can come up with over the windows so its not drafty for the little tike. Don't need Brysen freezing thru the winter. There is a heater vent in there, but the room seems to be the coolest in the house from what we have notice so far. But anyway, I'll take some new pictures of it once we get the room put back together. Ryan pulled pretty much everything out so he could get to all the trim better. But that's an update for another day...

Pregnancy Picture Update

This was back on September 28th..yeah I know I need to take another picture, especially considering I am now 33weeks

And this was from September 14th......

Carrie Underwood - Temporary Home

Sorry that I am posting several of these in a row. I'm remembering all the videos that I was wanting to post over the past few weeks of songs and what not that have come to mind and have really good meaning behind them. Some are self explainitory and others not so much, but I think this one is one of the self explainitory ones.
This is our "temporary home"

Come What May & Love It

I love the message that this video puts out to the world. It helps me remember to look for the good in life and make the best of what we have been given.

Memories....

Two years ago today I was sealed to my husband for time and all eternity in the Manti Utah Temple.
It was a perfect day! The temperature was a beatiful beginning of fall type day, just like today is here in Missouri. I was wonderful to have as much family as we did there, considering how short of notice we gave everyone. Things feel together within a matter of 2 weeks for us to go out to Utah and get sealed in the temple of our choice. Despite not being able to have all of our family there, Ryan's parents made it an occassion to remember for us and we thank them all the time for the oppourtunity it gave us! Since that day we have been greatly blessed to move upward and onward with our lives together, and mostly in a positive direction the entire time. We have had our ups and downs and continue to do so, but it is hard not to struggle in the times we are living in right now.

We have moved 3 different times since that day and are currently hoping to stay "settled" in the home we are at right now for at least a year. Hopefully longer cause we are tired of moving every few months :) And come December our little family will gain a bouncing baby boy. We are extremely excited and scared all at the same time because December is coming really fast! I am now 29 weeks and doctor's appointments are now 2 weeks apart, as opposed to the monthly check-ups. Its just another reminder that we are getting closer and closer to this little boys arrival....

And as I type this his little cousin (Jayden Dale Sharp) is being buried out in Utah. He was born last Saturday to his parents Katie and Cory Sharp, tiny little baby only 1.5 lbs, 11 inches. Sadly he was still born. They had induced his mother early (25wks) in hopes that he would be born alive so they could hold him before he passed on. My heart has been aching for them this whole time since finding out they would lose their little boy to a rare chromosome defect (Trisomy 18). Ryan & I wish that we could be there today with the rest of his family, but we are there in mind and heart. Though we never met little Jayden we love him dearly and he will be missed.

So today is filled with wonderful, good, and sad memories for us...but we continue "come what may and love it."

26 and Counting....

Despite the looking like a deer caught in the headlights this was this best pic we were able to get of me last week.

I'm starting to feel huge, even though I'm really not yet. But for someone who has remained below 100 pound the major of her life and fit in the same size clothes for 8+ years, well I'm feeling a bit self-conscious about myself. When we had our last doctor's appointment back on the 16th of August I forewarned Ryan that if the Doctor told me that I still didn't look pregnant I was going to have a fit....thankfully she didn't say that :) And according to my "mother hen" co-workers I get bigger over the weekends....lol

Baby boy (aka Brysen) is becoming much more active. Kicks are becoming stronger to the point where if you pay enough attention to my tummy you can see him kicking and moving around... its weird in a neat sort of way.

Late August Update

August has been a whirlwind month for us and our immediate families and its reminded me of the small and simple things that get us through everyday. A smile, a kind word, a phone call, a song you hear on the radio, a hug, and the list goes on.

Have you ever noticed how hard it is to give advice to someone when you haven't been in a similar situation yourself? Its hard to relate to how they are feeling and what they are going through emotionally and physically. My mind has been focused a lot on my family and relationships with them. Mainly on 2 of my sisters and how grateful I am for them and their strength through trials.

****

My sister, that is just older than me, has been struggling with many things over the years health wise, but lately its been in the relationship department of life. She was happily engaged to who I am told is a wonderful guy and they were set to be married in October and the next thing I know the engagement is off. When I heard the news from her I didn't know what to say and especially what kind of advice to give. So I did the best I could with what limited detail I had from her and what guidance I got from the spirit in thinking of what to say to her.

She has recently moved into a new apartment and gotten a new job and so she is trying to rebuild a life for herself without him in it right now and I just don't know what to do or say. Heartbroken, moving on with her life, and still managing to stay in a cheerful mood....that's my sister Cassy.

*****

The other is my sister-in-law, Kate. She and I are pretty close in age and its been fun getting to know her over the past couple years. She too, has also been through some tough stuff the past few years, but I would have to say her most recent trial tops them all by far. You see she and I both found out we were pregnant within a couple weeks of each other, for both of us its our first. Its been so fun having someone to share the dramas of pregnancy with. We found out that we were both due within about 2-3weeks of each other in the month of December. Then we both found out we were having boys. So exciting being able to relate and have someone to talk to...that is until she had her latest ultrasound appointment earlier this month. They discovered that their perfect little boy was not perfect and would not make it full-term. He has what's known as Trisomy 18, which is extremely rare. Once he is born he will probably not live for more than a day, unless heaven provides a miracle for this little family. They have recently found out that the best option for them at this point is for her to get induced early so that they will have a chance to see and hold their precious baby boy in their arms before he passes. I have found it extremely hard to reach out to her with comforting words. My heart stopped when my husband told me what was going on one day when I came home from work and I burst into tears. We sat and cried together on our living room sofa. Sorrowful cries for our sister and her little family, mixed in with ones of gratitude that it wasn't us. I felt selfish with that though but couldn't help it at the same time. Since then I haven't know what to say to her nor have I really attempted (I know I'm gutless...shame on me). I have overheard conversations Ryan has had with his parents when they have called to give us an update. The last time he called he actually talk to Kate for a little while and he told me how impressed he was with her faith, strength, and positive outlook. Said that she was defiantely growing up.

Its been hard for Ryan to watch Kate struggle through the years cause he has always felt really close to her and when she hurts, he hurts....its the perfect brother-sister relationship that I had always yearned for as a kid. So yes I am slightly jealous of their relationship, but they are both amazing people to me that I am eternally grateful to have in my life.

I want both Cassy and Kate to know how much they mean to me (and the rest of you too) and that they are teaching me about life as I watch them grow in their own lives.
Cassy you are my big sister and my close friend, always will be. Despite how far apart the miles have been keeping us over the past several years. Glad we have always been able to be there for each other when it matters most.

Kate, I don't know what to say beside I admire your courage with what you are going through right now. I do know one thing though, that our little boys may not get the chance to play with each other in this life, but I can guarantee that Brysen and Jayden are playing together right now and creating a bond of friendship that will last until they meet again....forever little buddies. Which I find comforting to know and so I hope it helps.

Living Room After Pics

I don't know what happened to my before pictures, but here are the after shots. The room just had a white primer-coat on it when we moved in. Ryan painted the living about 2 weeks ago and its just taken me a while to get the pictures off the camera and onto the computer. We think its a much better improvement (not as drastic as the dining room). Enjoy!